Guadlupe Peak: A valuable lesson in hiking preparedness

This wasn't my first "mountain" climb (I climbed Lantau Peak in 2006, which has roughly the same level of prominence as Guadalupe), but it certainly was more fun seeing as how I ended up climbing 934m in Hong Kong because I took a wrong turn on a footpath.



Jamie and I began our journey to Guadalupe peak in high spirits: We left Odessa at about 7:30 a.m, about an hour later than we planned. We were each toting 3L or more of water, brought sunscreen of sufficient strength (SPF 80) to protect us from death rays, let alone sun rays, and had enjoyed an evening of general merriment at Summer Mummers the night before. Being both a lightweight and a cheapskate, I'd never drunk enough to feel the after-effects of a night of booze and popcorn combined with cheap humor. I soon learned that it is never wise to mountain climb with a hangover.

After driving through a long stretch of desert (known as West Texas), we were rewarded with the sight of the bustling city of Kermit. The boost to morale was short.

After driving an hour or so further, we came upon Loving County which has the distinct honor of being the least populous city in the contiguous 48 states. No one knows for sure how many live there, but the county sheriff estimates it to be 67. We had planned on eating at the Boot Track Cafe in Mentone, but it was closed that day.

Instead just outside of this charming locale, Jamie and I fell ravenously upon the breakfast burritos at a rest stop and took in the scenery. Not much had changed.

Over the next couple of hours, we struggled to keep ourselves interested in the journey: We saw a loose cow, which undoubtedly died of thirst/stupidity and now adorns the hood of a Cadillac somewhere. I desperately looked for the roadrunners Jamie pointed out as we drove. We saw numerous general stores and "last chance" gas stations that had been abandoned and gutted by the harsh winds. I tip my hat to the people who are stubborn enough to live in such a miserable place.

Anyway, we finally reached the peak and, after chatting up the rangers who seemed quite glad to have someone to talk to, we set off on our adventure. After paying the park entrance fee that is (it seemed almost comical that they would charge people to climb a forsaken rock, but trails must be maintained and they gotta keep rangers around to bury the bodies of fallen hikers I suppose).

As we started up the mountain, Jamie began to feel weak after only about 15 minutes of hiking. We rested, he drank part of his Energy Vitamin water, and consumed a granola bar. We hiked 10 more minutes and stopped again. After 3 or 4 times like this I'll admit I was afraid we'd never make it to the top. A woman leading 4 children carrying giant backpacks and wearing serious-looking hiking boots passed us. An older man from Marfa named Mr. Duncan passed us. One asian guy passed us going up, reached the top, and then came back down. Fortunately, once Jamie had filled himself with some fluids (like I said, I was unfamiliar with hangovers), we started to make good time and even passed Mr. Duncan on our way up.

We passed through four different terrain types on our hike, and along the way I encountered (being a Kansas boy), the most mysterious and mystical plant ever. I was sure it was some sort of Martian transplant, but apparently it's just agave. Oh well.

After about 4 hours, we finally reached the top and signed the log. We chatted with Mr. Duncan who has apparently climbed this mountain (along with his Cowboy cheerleader daughter Misty) about 3 dozen times. He must have gotten bored with the Marfa lights. We unscrewed our magic Sprite bottle and quaffed our shots of tequila. Perhaps it was the altitude, the euphoria at reaching the top, or 4 hours of merciless sun beating down upon us, but the tequila didn't burn quite as badly as it usually does.

We consumed what was left of our food supplies (6 or so granola bars), took pictures, searched in vain for the survey marker, and began the descent. Counter-intuitively, it took just as long and was just as painful as the ascent. At the bottom, I noted I had blisters in curious places, had massive sunburns just about my elbows on the back of my arms (didn't even think to put sunscreen there), and realized we had a miserable and hungry drive ahead of us, seeing as how we didn't bring an food for the way back.

We stopped in Pecos on the way back, which was frighteningly empty. We have some tasty enchiladas at a cafe there which was especially notable because the cafe also sold bail bonds. We drove home, fell asleep, and I made the 5 hour drive back to Waco. 8,749 feet of our goal have been tackled!